I'm sure we can all agree that 2020 has been a dumpster fire. With all the issues I have to pick from, when it comes to the thing that upsets me the most, it comes down to one word: differences. Not the existence of, not the lack thereof, but the lack of respect for. Since when has throwing a tantrum because someone disagrees with us become an acceptable adult behavior? In fact, when was it ever acceptable child behavior?
I've been wanting to write this post for a while but was sitting on the trigger and couldn't pull it. Then, a few nights ago while I should have been sleeping, I was perusing the internet and I stumbled upon an old story I wrote for the Kings and I knew it was the impetus I needed.
Hear me out.
With all of the controversial storylines swirling around the world right now I am feeling so much hate and vitriol coming through my social media channels, and I'm noticing that the main problem is that people can't handle differences of opinion. People are getting into arguments, losing friends, getting fired from their jobs, causing tension in relationships, and for what? Because someone doesn't think the same way?
First, let's brainstorm where opinions come from. The Dictionary app on my phone gives the definition of the word "opinion" as such: 1) a belief or judgment that rests on grounds insufficient to produce complete certainty; 2) a personal view, attitude, or appraisal; 3) the formal expression of a professional judgment. For me personally, I think people's opinions come from their own life experiences, beliefs, morals, and values, and are based heavily on their own psychology. Look at that, I just gave my own opinion - not facts, just my thoughts based on my own life experiences, beliefs, morals, and values, which happen to coincide with my own psychology. See what I did there?
I understand that not everyone may agree with me and that's okay. (I may think that the people who don't agree are dumb as rocks, but I'm not going to say that out loud because I don't want to represent myself as an arrogant, narrow-minded know-it-all.) In fact, that's expected and beneficial. Can you imagine a world where everyone thought the same way and had the same opinions? Seems boring and unrealistic to me, but I am hearing and seeing people on Facebook get into arguments that begin with phrases like "I can't believe you," "That's just wrong," and my all time favorite "I'm so disappointed to hear you say blah, blah blah." Disappointed? Disappointed in what? That someone has had a different experience in life than you did that would lead them down a contrasting thought path? Disappointed that someone's morals and values are different than yours? Don't get me wrong, I'm all about productive conversation with the intention of educating, learning and understanding, but so many people aren't responding with tones and words that are indicative of anything remotely productive. If standing on your soapbox and being right is all you care about, where is that coming from? (Interesting side note: this week #Tina and I were chatting about wearable technology and she told me there is something being launched that could listen to your voice and tell you how your tone could be perceived by others. HAHAHA WHAT?!? I can't wait for this and I hope it becomes standard on every phone and wearable! I have a mile-long list of people that need this, myself included!)
This reminds me of a ridiculous but applicable example. Back in high school, my boyfriend-at-the-time and I got into an argument about baseball. His argument was that baseball was the best sport in the world. My argument wasn't that it wasn't the best sport in the world, but that that was his opinion and not fact. Go ahead and read that again. I remember being so baffled in the moment because he truly believed he was speaking fact and wouldn't acknowledge that it was an opinion that not everybody held. Imagine my shock when, 20 years later, I see fully grown adults behaving the same way! This is also a good example of how I think psychology plays into someone's opinion - I am clearly triggered by people who think their opinions are edicts, thus the reason for this blog. :)
I've admittedly written this whole blog a bit tongue-in-cheek, and the title in itself is quite remedial. But I think part of what bothers me most about all the people screeching because of differing opinions is that we learned to accept people's differences as kids. This is one of the first things we learn as babies, in relation to others: that not everyone is the same and that's okay. In fact, it makes the world beautiful. We expect our kids to be able to handle differences but I feel like as a society, in the midst of a global pandemic, we've lost sight of that. I was reminded of all this because I stumbled upon this story I wrote five years ago after an incredible experience visiting Camp Ronald McDonald for Good Times with the Kings. It's an unconventional story in the sense that it's written in first person, but after the experience I had, there was no better way to write it. I hope you'll read it and I hope you'll feel it. As always, thanks for reading my opinion.
"One of the biggest mistakes we make is believing other people think the way we think." - Unknown