For Daddy, who gave me his heart;
And for Laura, who is somehow doing my life's work.
On Mach 9, 1978 my #father, who was 32 years old at the time, ran into the bathroom to find his mother dead on the floor. He had received a frantic call from his older sister who was on the phone with their mother when she stopped talking and fell. His dad, my grandfather, was in the hospital at the time and my dad was the closest one to his parents' house. He tried administering CPR but it was too late - she had suffered a heart attack. She was only 71 years old and my parents hadn't even met yet.
Twenty-three years later, when I was a freshman in college, my #dad was attending a conference in Northern California, which wasn't unusual for him; #Mom, #Jeff and I were home. One night, around dinner time, my dad started feeling weak. He thought that if he got some food in him he might feel better, so he took a walk to find some takeout. As he was walking back to his hotel with his food he noticed that one side of his body was starting to go numb. He knew it was one of those bad signs people lecture you about. As it happened he walked right by an urgent care clinic and hesitated. Then he thought better about it, turned around, and walked inside the clinic. He described his symptoms, and after a quick analysis, my dad was told he was having a heart attack. He was transported to the nearest hospital where it was determined that they were unable to perform the procedure my dad required to clear his blockage, so he was taken to a hospital in Salinas, which was about 45 minutes away. There, they successfully performed an angioplasty and saved my dad's life. He was 55 years old.
As wild a story as it is, I couldn't tell it in real time because I didn't even find out it had happened until the next day when my mom told me my dad called in the middle of the night. Absurd, right? I remember some time later when my dad was fully recovered he took Mom, Jeff and me to the hospital where he was cared for, and it was such a surreal feeling knowing my dad had gone through one of the most traumatic events of his life and I wasn't even there - heck, I wasn't even aware at the time. It was like I managed to cheat on a test and not get caught.
Five years later, at the age of 60, my dad trained for and completed his first full marathon. If that doesn't speak volumes to someone's character I don't know what does. As Jeff so eloquently put it when he eulogized my dad, we were so lucky to have had a warning sign that my dad was mortal, and I believe we all took advantage of the 18 extra years we got to spend with him before he passed away. He died last October at the age of 74 from a cardiopulmonary arrest after collapsing on the floor in his home... he had just walked out of the bathroom.
Six years ago, #Laura, one of my best friends, took a job with the American Heart Association, and is currently the Senior Business Development Director in the Los Angeles area. This seemed extremely fortuitous for someone with my family history, so I took the chance to get involved through Laura. Not only have I volunteered at as many of Laura's events as I could, but I even took a part-time job with the American Heart Association myself, and for two years I was a kick-off specialist in the youth market, where I'd go to elementary schools and get students rallied up about the Jump Rope For Heart fundraiser. (Who remembers Jump Rope for Heart from grade school?!? I do!!!) One of Laura's big focuses is the #GoRed campaign, as heart disease is the NUMBER ONE killer of women and men in America. Read that again. Each spring Laura puts on a big fundraising event, whether it be a luncheon, a concert, or some other creative endeavor, and I'm pretty sure I've been to every one of these since she's started. This year, in light of the coronavirus stay-at-home orders, Laura's event will be virtual.
This Friday, May 15th, at noon, the American Heart Association will host their "Los Angeles Go Red for Women" event, which will be a virtual wellness retreat to fuel the body, mind, and spirit. The event will feature self-care practices as well as learning opportunities for how everyone can be an agent of change for women's cardiovascular health. Although the event is geared toward women and women's heart health, most of the principles will apply to the heart health of all genders. It's absolutely FREE to join as long as you register, which you can do right here. Come on, friends, make yourself a priority and attend this virtual event with me!
I may not be able to change the fact that heart disease runs in my family, but that won't stop me from educating myself and others on what we can do to prevent catastrophe. This is the same knowledge that saved my dad's life back in 2001 when he ALMOST walked past the urgent care clinic without walking in. One of the things that pains me the most now that my dad is gone is that if I do ever get married I won't get that father/daughter dance at my wedding. Interestingly enough, what is a bit of a consolation is that my dad insisted we have one during my Sweet 16 party. There was a specific song that my dad really wanted us to dance to because at the time he was obsessed with it, and although I'm pretty sure nobody in the history of ever has used this as a father/daughter dance, I obliged my dad then, if only because he paid for the party. The song choice? Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On." I can just see that goofy, wide-eyed grin on his face and hear him hum that mischievous tune as I'm looking back on all this in retrospect.
Well played, Daddy. Well played.
Near, far, wherever you are, I believe that the heart does go on. Once more you open the door, and you're here in my heart and my heart will go on and on. -Celine Dion
*If you are unable to attend the virtual Go Red event but would like to make a donation to the #AmericanHeartAssociation in my dad's name, here is the link to his fundraising page that I didn't do a very good job of promoting at the time of his service.
*For more info on heart disease, CPR, and how you can get involved, check out the AHA website.